Facebook has become like Myspace. Quizzes take over my "newsfeed", strangers regularly ask to be my friend, and my updates are typically three friends who have added the most recent "what will happen to you this year" application. I am proud to say that I seldom added the applications and quizzes...then I started night classes. I gave in. I now spend the better part of my Monday and Thursday evenings taking quizzes to find out who my celeb crush is, when I'll get married, and what breed of canine I'd be; I'm a beagle.
Compliments of the "Friend-ly Application", I found out that: I have twenty-two friends named Matt, the most common astrological sign among my 1,195 friends is the Libra, Tara Reynhout-Wroblewski has the longest name, I have more male friends than female, and seventy-one percent of my nearly twelve hundred friends are in a relationship. Seventy-one percent. SEVENTY-ONE PERCENT. There's a good chance that the staggering statistic can be attributed the fact that over half of my "friends" attended a small private Christian college. My hope is that there is an equally good chance that three of the six people who read this blog may actually take my precautions in to account before the "ring by spring" mentality creeps it's way in to your hearts and minds and takes root.
When you walk down the cereal aisle at the local Kroger there are literally a bajillion choices, literally a bajillion...and this is the way it has always been for us millennials. The options are endless, the choices extravagant, and the ability to choose just one...inconceivable. Obviously, you need Captain Crunch Berries for days when you're feeling juvenile, Raisin Bran for days when you're feeling well past your years, Golden Grahams for days when you're missing home, Special K with Strawberries for days when you're feeling loved, and Cinnamon Life for all the days in between. Perhaps it's wishful thinking, but sometimes I really fancy the thought of relationships being like the cereals that reside on the top of my refrigerator. Golden Grahams are never offended if I pick Special K with Strawberries, and Captain Crunch Berries is always pleased to know that I even acknowledge their existence. Raisin Bran...well, Raisin Bran is well aware that the days when we share breakfast will be few and far between...and RB is okay with that. And Cinnamon Life knows that we're on this journey together...almost everyday.
Relationships, unlike the cereals, do not operate under the same rules. When you pick who you are going to share your life with you are with them on the days when you're feeling childish, aged, loved, and all the days in between. It's not that us millennials don't want to make a decision and stick with it, it's just that we want it all...and can you blame us? We've had all the options our entire lives, and now for some reason society tells us that we need to pick just one. One choice that will shape our forever, and who knows if the relationship will actually last that long. Given that the current divorce statistics are well over fifty percent, I would say that the cereal aisle has done more than provide us with tasty treats in the morning. The cereal aisle birthed a generation of consumers who know that if today's breakfast isn't everything you dreamed of and more then there's always tomorrow. When you walk down an aisle garnished with flowers and ribbons, you're walking down an aisle with one option. One option, one choice, one person...forever.
Who you marry is the most important decision you will make, outside of choosing to establish your faith in Christ.
I love Captain Crunch Berries, but I cannot eat it everyday...it's a real tragedy. You see, when I eat Captain Crunch Berries it tears up the roof of my mouth...but it's so good that sometimes I just can't resist. If I had to eat Captain Crunch Berries every single day for the rest of my life my life I'd be miserable. Sure when it's good it's good, but when it cuts me I bleed and it stings at lunch when I try to eat a burrito. And in the end I sometimes wonder if it was really worth it.
On mornings when I have a big test I try to stomach a healthy variety blend of fiber soaked bran flakes. Test days are the days when I have a big bowl of Raisin Bran for breakfast. I love Raisin Bran for about two bites...and then the flakes turn to mush. When Raisin Bran looses it's crunchiness I am immediately turned off....errr...I mean, I lose my appetite.
Sometimes when I my mom calls to talk, my neighbor helps me carry in my groceries, or I get a random e-mail from an old friend...I just eat a handful of Special K with Strawberries dry, right out of the box. In those moments I feel appreciated, remembered, and loved.
Last night I talked to Megan, and this morning I had Golden Grahams...enough said.
I have a feeling that tomorrow I will wake up, take Dunkin for his morning walk, and slurp down some Cinnamon Life while I take in all that Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa have to offer me on a Thursday morning...which, for the record, will be an extensive amount of knowledge...plus, Jason Bateman is going to be on tomorrow.
Is it impossible to choose just one? Is it even fair to think that you'll be able to be with one forever? Can you really have just one cereal for the rest of your life?
I'd like to think it is possible, doable, and has the potential be the best breakfast you've ever had...everyday. I think that because Cheerios exist.
When you are picking the person you will be with forever, it is important to do just that...pick. Be picky. Pick someone who you find attractive. Pick someone who you respect more than any one else you've ever met. Pick someone who causes you to stop, think, and reevaluate...and then does it again when you think you've landed on an answer. Pick someone who makes you laugh until it hurts. Pick someone who is grounded spiritually. Pick someone that will represent you well when you're unable to represent yourself. Pick some one who loves adventure. Pick someone you can rely on, trust, and who is safe. Pick someone who you can do more for the kingdom of God with than you could ever do alone. Pick the person not the game. Do not let someone pick you, pick them. If you do not choose each other the relationship will not ever be balanced. If you allow someone to pick you, they will always have the upper hand in the relationship. A relationship that is not balanced will fail.
I'd like to think that I tend to avoid drama, but for the sake of transparency I will tell you...sometimes the urge to be a girl overwhelms me. When I am confronted with a decision and I don't know the answer, I will ask everyone and then get a few more opinions. In cereal terms, I have a little bowl of each...from there I will formulate my action plan on based on parts of each response that I elicited. When you're in a relationship with someone you should be able to place enough trust in that person that if you were unable to ever have any other opinion than theirs it would be enough. You should value their opinion so highly, and know that they are earnestly following the will of God so adamantly that any other opinion would pale in comparison to theirs.
Do you know how many different kinds of Cheerios exist? 10. Ten different kinds of Cheerios exist, not including the Olympic O's that they made for the summer games of '96. With in the Cheerios family there are so many options, but at the end of the day it is still the classically delicious toasted oat. I could eat Yogurt Cheerios to feel affection, Apple Cinnamon Cheerios when I'm feeling youthful, Multi-Grain for test days, or Honey Nut when I am feeling nostalgic, and for all the days in between I'd be happy to eat plain ol' Cheerios.
Cheerios aren't boring, they're safe. Boring holds you down. Safety provides you a net for when you jump.
I recently asked my Ranny what she would tell someone who is embarking on new relationship endeavors, she said “To really, ya know, be careful, and to know them. To know their preference in religion, and this type of thing. I don’t know, I don’t remember that far back.”
My grandparents were married for fifty seven years.
